Lee Groban's Free Signature Quotes
quote
"
the waitress bangs my cup of coffee on the counter in this dive"
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background
explanations/exclamations of signature-quotes
I forgot what the name of the dive is or was. But I know it was located
near
A law school where I formerly worked as a clerk in their library. The
law school, so far as I know, no longer exists, but it is true that
waitress sometimes would bang my cup of coffee on the counter in that
particular dive, I’m not joking about that. I’m really not, I tell you,
I’m really not. She was probably overworked and “burned out” from her
job. I personally wouldn’t want her job, anyway. And most likely,
neither would you, unless you’re really desperate. I guess personally
that it was probably a less stressful job than being a traffic cop or a
spy in Chechnya, but still nonetheless stressful. It could possibly
cause neuritis, neurosis, or neuralgia(which Anacin is supposed to
relieve. Remember that Anacin commercial?)__it would drive me mad
personally.it would drive me up the walls of containment. It would make
me keep screaming, “ooh ee ah ooh eeeeeeeeee ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ooh ee ooh
ah ahhhhhhhhhhh ting tang walla walla bing bang ooh ee ooh ah
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”.if nothing else, I couldn’t imagine Toss
Bagdassarian doing that kind of work. Or Bing Crosby, for that matter.
It might drive me mad enough to start singing operatic arias in the
voice of Popeye on the job. Or possibly in the voice of Knucklehead
from the Paul Winchell show or in the voice of the daughter of Groucho
Marx. I used to go there for lunch break with a few of the co-workers
who were working as library clerks(also a not-so-glamorous, but less
stressful, job) at the same law school library which was located
nowhere near Duckburg(Donald Duck’s and Uncle Scrooge’s home town) or
Surf City. Occasionally, we would rock back and forth to juke box music
in that place which sometimes would get on that waitress’s nerves. I
hope that waitress(assuming she’s still around) is not
institutionalized by now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she is. I
wouldn’t know one way or the other because now I’m “out of that scene,
man”. I lost that job after a few months. I’m a “poor slob who lost
that job”. But I don’t personally think that the fact that I lost that
job was particularly disastrous.
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